Calming Therapy
by Constalina
Summary: Rikkai, Seigaku, and Hyoutei go to therapy class. TOGETHER. Oh jeez... Will they drive the therapist insane? FujiBun, Uke, Platinum, Acrobatic, Silver, etc... Rated T for safety...
1. Introductions

Author's note: I was thinking about what would happen if the Rikkai, Hyoutei and Seigaku regulars were in the same class

**Author's note:** I was thinking about what would happen if the Rikkai, Hyoutei and Seigaku regulars were in the same class. Or in a therapy class. Well, you get the point. I'm not sure what kind of therapy there is or how therapy works… Sorry if I get it wrong…

"I DON'T BELONG HERE!"

"Oh shut up you three!"

"YOU SHUT UP!"

"YOU SHUT UP BECAUSE I TOLD YOU TO SHUT UP FIRST!"

"MARRY ME BUNTA!"

"GAAHHHH! HELP ME! THAT GUY WANTS TO MARRY ME!"

"GIVE ME BACK MY DATA!"

"NEVER! I NEED TO COPY YOUR DATA SO I WILL HAVE MORE DATA THAN YOU!"

"This is fun, isn't it, Yukimura."

"This is more fun than I thought it would be, Fuji."

"SHUT UP YOU SADISTS!"

"We're sadists?"

"ORE-SAMA WILL SUE YOU ALL IF ORE-SAMA GETS HURT!"

"SHUT UP MONKEY KING!"

"ORE-SAMA HAS NEVER BEEN MORE INSULTED IN ORE-SAMA'S LIFE!"

"SHUT THE HELL UP MONKEY BUTT!"

"BBBBBBBBBBBBBUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRNNNNNNNNNNNIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGG!"

"WHO GAVE TAKA-SEMPAI A TENNIS RAQUET?!"

"We did!"

"Yukimura-buchou? HOW COULD YOU?!"

"And Fujiko! MEANIE! Now we have another obstacle to dodge!"

"Fshhhh…"

"Shut up mamushi. If you have nothing good to say, don't say it."

"Look who's talking, momoshiri."

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING A PEACH ASS?!"

"WHO ARE _YOU_ CALLING A VIPER?!"

"Your moves are called 'Boomerang snake" and 'the snake' and 'finishing snake'…"

"Everyone calm down!"

"SHUT UP EGG HEAD!"

"It was worth a try…"

"WAHHH! YUKIMURA-BUCHOU! NIOU-SEMPAI TRIED TO PULL DOWN MY PANTS!"

"AND I SUCCEEDDED! BWAHAHAHAAAHHHHAAAA!"

"… Kirihara's underpants… What are those things on them?"

"Rainbow Monkeys!"

"I won't even ask how Gakuto knows what they are."

"I watch KND!"

"All the possibilities…"

"SADISTS!"

"Yukimura-buchou! I need a cuddle! WWWAAAHHH!"

"Come here Kirihara, calm down."

"What a baby." -GLARE-

"N-Nothing!"

"Um… Excuse me? Could we all calm down now?"

"NO!"

Tezuka couldn't believe that he and the other Seigaku regulars had to go to therapy. He really couldn't believe that they had to take them with the Rikkai and Hyoutei regulars. He found it impossible to believe that they were only in the waiting room, and this was happening. It seemed Sanada was thinking the same thing, his clenched knuckles were white.

This was the scene: Echizen and Atobe were fighting (great example Atobe). Fuji and Yukimura were using their sadistic powers to fuel the havoc everyone created. Taka was smashing into everything and everyone using Fuji's tennis racquet. Eiji, Kirihara and Gakuto were driving everyone insane. Momo and Kaidoh were having a name calling fight/contest. Yanagi was trying to copy Inui's data. Oishi and Yagyuu were trying to calm everyone down (and failing miserably). Bunta was running away from Jirou, and Jackal was trying to stop Jirou. Niou was trying to embarrass everyone (and doing quite a good job). Shishido was screaming at Gakuto, Eiji and Kirihara. Otori was coughwhimperingcough behind Shishido. Yuushi was reading a book (well duh!). Wakashi was… wait, where is he? Ah forget him! Moving on… Kabaji was standing next to Atobe. And Tezuka and Sanada were getting stressed just by watching them. That's only the summary of what they did… Don't tell me you actually followed that!

Then the therapist walked out to call who was next when... things happened. He tripped over Wakashi, who was trying to avoid the hyper trio. He nearly was smashed by Taka's racquet. When he dodged the racquet, he tripped and fell on his back, causing Bunta, Jirou and Jackal to trip over him. Bunta tried to hold on to something, which happened to be Inui's notebook. While falling, Bunta let go of Inui's notebook, which smashed into Atobe's face. Atobe smacked Echizen, who fell onto Yuushi, who let go of his book. The flying book hit Gakuto, who hit Kirihara, who was going to hit Eiji, who dodged using his awesome acrobatic skills. Eiji landed on Oishi and Yagyuu. I actually pity anyone who followed that. Oh, and the sadists were laughing, holding their sides to stop them from splitting.

"100 LAPS NOW!" screamed Tezuka and Atobe.

"TARUNDORU!" yelled Sanada (Is that what Sanada says? I think it is…), slapping all the Rikkai regulars, except his _beloved _Yukimura. Tezuka turned to the dazed therapist.

"Sorry for the mess we made, we'll clean it up later." The therapist nodded and led the buchous into the room, followed by Sanada and the other Rikkai regulars, followed by the Hyoutei and Seigaku regulars.

_After everyone was in…_

"Hey! There's not enough seats!" yelled Gakuto and Eiji in unision. They were pointing at the eight seats in the middle.

"For once they have a good point," muttered Shishido.

"We can settle on one thing," began Yukimura.

"What's that?" everyone asked.

"Akutagawa-san has a chair," Yukimura said, pointing at Jirou, who decided to sleep on the chair nearest to the door. Bunta immediately scooted to the other side of the room.

"I'll stand, as _far _as possible from Jirou," he announced.

"We can all see that, Bunta," said Niou.

"I have the seat near the window!" screamed Kirihara.

"No way! I'm older, so I get that seat!" yelled Eiji, grabbing Kirihara. Gakuto leapt over them.

"Screw you both! I'll get that seat!" he yelled. Unfortunately, he landed on Bunta.

"Get off me you freak!" yelled Bunta. Sanada calmly walked to the seat the hyper trio wanted, and sat on it.

"SANADA!" the trio screamed. Sanada glared at them.

"If you can't decide who gets the seat, someone else gets it." The trio walked away, sulking.

The therapist told the buchous to take anything that might be distracting. Yukimura took Niou's rubber bands, Sanada and Yagyuu's anti-depressants, Bunta's sweets, and Yanagi's notebook and pen. Atobe took Yuushi's book and almost took Jirou's pillow (Bunta stopped him, you all know why). Tezuka confiscated Iuni's notebook and pen, Fuji's water gun (Why does he have a water gun? Sadistic purposes…) and Eiji's leash… wait, a leash? Ah never mind…

"Welcome everyone. My name is McDonald Duey …" he began. (For lack of better name.)

"What kind of name is McDonald Duey?" asked Bunta.

"At least his name doesn't mean 'ball of fat'," said Niou. Bunta turned a strawberry red.

"S-Shut up! I'm just saying his name sounds like that American restaurant."

"MacDonalds?"

"Yeah!"

"Actually," said Yanagi, "MacDonalds is a fast food centre. It doesn't qualify as a restaurant."

"Why is Rikkai getting the spotlight? Hyoutei is here too!" snapped Shishido.

"And Seigaku too! So why is Rikkai the only one's speaking?" said Momo.

"'Cause we're special," chirped Kirihara.

"Really? How so? In the number of idiots that attend there?" mumbled Echizen, completely forgetting that Niou was the trickster, Yanagi had killer juices, Kirihara was the spawn of the devil, Yukimura was a sadist, and Sanada had the 'Hand of death'. (I always wanted to type that!) Meaning half of the Rikkai regulars had the potential to kill the good part of the world, or at least annoy the crap out of the good part. They'd kill the insane part.

"Idiots?" said Yukimura, his voice dangerously soft. "Before the discussion goes out of hand, I think we should let McDonald-san continue. Any objections?" Even though Seigaku and Hyoutei haven't been under Yukimura's wrath, they didn't object. Seigaku did have a sadist of their own, and Hyoutei are a bunch of sissies. (I don't like Hyoutei that much… Mainly 'cause of their retard of a captain) McDonald nodded gratefully at Yukimura. "_This will definitely be harder than I thought. I will heed the warnings their coaches gave me,_" he thought. Ah, if only Mr. McDonald knew that the regulars weren't even at their craziest yet.

**Author's note: **Wow, that's the longest PoT fanfic chapter I've ever written. To be continued… 


	2. Echizen's Reply

**Author's note:** (Yawn) Thanks to the people who reviewed! (Or actually bothered…) There might be some hints of smiling pair in this chapter. I have nothing else to type, so enjoy!

"First of all, let's introduce ourselves," said McDonald.

"Do we need to?" asked Echizen, "We already know each other. That's Monkey King. Mamushi. The sadists. The candy freak. Screaming freak and co. The Burning freak. The wall. The Trickster. The acrobats. The Gentleman. The acrobats' owners. Peach boy. The data freaks. The demon-that-got-beaten-by-Fuji-sempai. The narcoleptic freak. Monkey. Gekokujou obsessed guy. And Sanada and Tezuka."

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN 'AND SANADA AND TEZUKA'?! HOW COME THEY'RE THE ONLY NORMAL ONES?!" almost everyone screamed. Echizen rolled his eyes.

"Because they actually are the only normal people," he replied. McDonald stared at Echizen, awed by his bravery and cockiness.

"Anyway, introduce yourselves, your favourite colour, your favourite animal, and why you think you're here. The boy who spoke before can start."

"O'chibi! You're up!" Eiji said cheerfully, hugging, and unintentionally choking Echizen.

"Kikumaru-sempai…"

"Nya?"

"Eiji! He's turning blue!" screamed Oishi.

"Whoops." Eiji let go of Echizen, and patted him on the head. "Sorry O'chibi! Nya!" Glaring at Eiji, Echizen began.

"I am Echizen Ryoma. My favourite colour is silver. My favourite animal is my cat, Karupin. I don't need to answer the last one."

"Why not?" almost everyone asked. Echizen took something out of his pocket. A piece of candy.

"CANDY!" screamed Gakuto, Bunta, and Momo. Echizen smirked.

"Want it?" he asked.

"DON'T GIVE IT TO THEM RYOMA/O'CHIBI/ECHIZEN!" screamed everyone, besides McDonald, the sadists, the hungry threesome, and Kabaji. And Sanada and Tezuka.

"Go Ryoma-chan!" cheered Fuji.

"Give it to them Echizen!" added Yukimura. The nervous therapist edged closer to the sadists.

"Um… What would happen if that boy, Echizen, gives them that piece of candy?" he asked, fidgeting with his clothes. Fuji opened his eyes slightly.

"Oh, nothing short of mass destruction," he answered ominously. It could have been a joke, if Fuji didn't look serious. McDonald shivered. He stared at Yukimura when he giggled.

"Fuji's just messing with you. The only thing that will happen is that they might kill each other for the candy," he said casually.

"Which, basically, is mass destruction for each other," said Fuji cheerfully. McDonald stared at them.

"Um… Don't you need them for your tennis teams?" The sadists thought about it.

"Good point," murmured Fuji. They both stood up.

"Excuse us," said Yukimura. They walked over to Sanada and Tezuka. McDonald couldn't help but feel something extremely stupid but very effective was going to happen.

_With Sanada and Tezuka…_

"Sanada, you can punish Bunta," said Yukimura sternly, "Tezuka, can I have permission to punish Echizen and Momoshiro?" Tezuka nodded. Sanada stood up and walked over to the commotion. Yukimura followed him.

"Come on Tezuka-buchou! We can't miss this! I even brought my camera!" said Fuji.

"No thank you," Tezuka answered. Fuji sighed. Then he plopped a paper crown on Teuka's head.

"Spoilsport, at least try to be part of the play!" he murmured as he walked away. McDonald walked over to Tezuka.

"Are any of them sane?" he asked.

"Not really," he replied.

_In the commotion…_

Sanada pushed through the crowd, Yukimura and Fuji followed, wearing ridiculous costumes. Fuji was wearing court messenger type costumes, and Yukimura was dressed up as a king. (Don't know how to explain Fuji's costume…) The sadists handed everyone costumes.

"Fujiko," began Eiji. Fuji and Yukimura turned around.

"Yeah?"

"Why are you wearing costumes? And giving them out too?" Fuji's smile grew bigger, and Yukimura giggled.

"We're going to do something special!" they chanted cheerfully. Everyone sweatdropped. Honestly, since when were Yuki and Fuji friends? Anyhoo…

The sadists sped to the… stage? Um… they walked onto the stage and to the criminals who were tied up. Yukimura handed Sanada a cardboard axe. Sanada stared at it confusedly.

"What the hell is this?!" yelled Echizen. He was starting to panic. Partly because the sadists tried to put him in a rag dress.

"GIMME CANDY!!" the hungry trio yelled. They seemed unfazed by the fact they were tied up. Or that they and the others in the room were also in costumes. A scroll appeared Fuji's hands.

"Yukimura-buchou what are you doing?" asked Kirihara.

"Role-play!" Yukimura replied gleefully. Sanada was still staring at the cardboard axe.

"I think Sanada is having visual sex with the axe!" said Niou. He, along a few others, laughed crazily. Sanada chased Niou, tenipuri style. Meanwhile, Fuji opened his scrip… I mean… scroll. Yukimura stopped Sanada, took his cap and handed him a black beanie. Fuji read his scroll:

"King Yukimura of the Kingdom of Rikkai and King Tezuka of the Kingdom of Seishun (Everyone stares at them with a WTF look) have given their permission to punish the criminals for seeking to bring mass destruction to this room."

"WTF?!" everyone screamed, except the sadists, and Kabaji. And Sanada and Tezuka. Yukimura and Fuji seemed amused.

"All we need is the approval of King Atobe of the Kingdom of Hyoutei to punish Mukahi Gakuto, also of the Kingdom of Hyoutei." Atobe shrugged. But of course he shrugged _elegantly_.

"Ore-sama might actually enjoy this," he said _elegantly_. The hungry trio already realized what was going on and began panicking.

"Now that we have the approval of all three kingdoms, we can continue with the execution!" Fuji finished cheerfully.

"WTFH?!" screamed the four 'criminals'. Now even Tezuka was confused. Most of the 'non-criminal' Seigaku and Hyoutei regulars were laughing like nutcases. Rikkai had mixed feelings. Echizen was swearing under his breath in English. Fuji, keen to take pictures of the 'execution', continued reading the scroll.

"Now Executioner Sanada may begin the execution." Silence. "Sanada?" Sanada was staring at the axe. "Something wrong with the axe?"

"Couldn't I just Tarundoru them?" Sanada asked Yukimura. Yukimura sighed disappointedly.

"Okay, but it sort of diminishes the effect." Sanada raised his hand.

_Later…_

"Owowowow…" mumbled Echizen, Momo, Bunta and Gakuto. McDonald stared at the group. He had come to the conclusion that every one of them was insane. Except Sanada and Tezuka.

"I told you I didn't need to answer the question," murmured Echizen.

"Um…" said McDonald, "Okay, who wants to go next?" Kirihara waved his hand.

"Me! Me! Pick me!"

**Author's note: **Wanna know where I got the kingdom thingy idea? I was listening to Viva la Vida by Coldplay. THAT SONG ROX!! Next chapter 'Kirihara's Answer'! See ya there!


	3. Kirihara's Answer

Author's note: I can't seem to get motivated today

**Author's note: **I can't seem to get motivated today. Ah well, I'll just start the next chapter. PP (Possible Pairings): Uke, Smiling, slight Golden, slight TezAto

"Hi" talking

"_Hi_" thinking

"**Hi**" English or other language

"Kirihara, you're going to get murdered by the sadists," said Jackal.

"Saa, that could be enjoyable," said Fuji. Everyone stared at him.

"I agree, it could!" said Yukimura. Everyone stared at them.

"Freaks," muttered Shishido.

"Did you say something?" the sadists said in unison.

"N-Nothing," whimpered Shishido. Yukimura smiled sweetly.

"We're just joking. Aren't we Fuji?" he said, spiked with a hint a menace. The threat didn't affect Fuji, but he knew Yukimura favoured Kirihara. He saw an opportunity.

"Of course," said Fuji. "Saa, Yukimura and Kirihara could get married. Yukimura could be the mother, he's so protective, " he added. Yukimura and Kirihara paled. Everyone was shocked. Fuji just revealed that Kirihara and Yukimura liked each other. Seeing as it was Fuji who said it, almost everyone laughed.

"Hey! Isn't it my turn?" said Kirihara. He was embarrassed by what Fuji said. But the word came out the wrong way.

"Your turn to what?" asked Gakuto between giggles, "Propose?" That increased the laughter. Tears started to form in Kirihara's eyes. Spotting this, Yukimura glared at them all.

"Sanada, would you do the honors?" he asked, menace now unmistakable. Sanada nodded. McDonald stared at them all, standing near Tezuka.

"Those two are gay?" he asked.

"Most of us are gay," Tezuka replied. McDonald stared at him. "_Is that why they're insane? Maybe. I shall talk to them later about it._"

"RUN AWAY!" Nearly everyone was fleeing from Sanada. Tezuka and McDonald just sat and watched. (That was completely stupid… I told you I couldn't get motivated.)

_Later…_

"Yay! My turn now!" said Kirihara.

"Yes, Kirihara, you can go ahead," said Yukimura. He turned to Fuji. "Promise you'll not make a joke like that again?" Fuji's smile grew bigger.

"Okay. Promise you won't set Sanada on me again?" said Fuji.

"I'm not a dog," Sanada said bluntly. Echizen and Momo snorted.

"Really? You obey Yukimura like one," said Momo. Sanada glared at them.

"**Sanada's a bitch, Sanada's a bitch,**" sang Echizen.

"SPEAK JAPANESE!" screamed Gakuto and Kirihara. (I don't know what Gakuto's worst subject is, but I know Kirihara's.)

"Not my fault you suck at English," said Echizen.

"Wait a minute…" said Eiji, "Yukimura still needs to answer Fujiko, and Kirihara needs to answer McDonald." Gakuto gasped.

"Oh my God! Kikumaru actually said something that made sense!" Eiji glared at him.

"I say a lot of things that make sense, thank you very much."

"Oh yeah? Like what?"

"Like what I said ten seconds ago, and now!" Gakuto leaped at Eiji, pinning him to the ground.

"I will kill you!

"What does that got to do with anything?!"

"If I kill you, I will be the best acrobatic tennis player in the world!"

"You mean in junior high." (That's where they are right? Junior high.)

"No, I saw on the internet, we're the only acrobatic tennis players in Japan."

"Fine, you'll be the best player in Japan, not the world."

"… I have another reason to kill you. You piss me off. Yuushi! Give me a knife!" Yuushi stared at Gakuto.

"I don't have a knife. Why would I have a knife?"

"I DON'T KNOW!" Fuji pointed at Tezuka.

"Tezuka's got my water gun, would that do?" he said. Gakuto's eyes brightened.

"At least someone's nice!" Eiji rolled his eyes.

"Now all you have to do is get it from Tezuka," he said. Gakuto saw the sense in what he said.

"Damn it. No harm in trying though." Gakuto leapt at Tezuka.

"Get off him idiot!" yelled Shishido, "Atobe might go haywire!"

"Give me the water gun!" screamed Gakuto. Tezuka was… calmly struggling. How else do I explain it?

"Gahh!! Don't hurt Tezuka-buchou!" yelled Eiji as he leapt onto Gakuto's back. Eiji kept on smacking Gakuto on the head and yelling "Meanie!" while Gakuto was trying to get him off. Everyone ignored them. But you could see it in Yukimura and Fuji's eyes, they had an idea.

"Now it's my turn!" said Kirihara, "I'm Kirihara Akaya. And… Um… What did I have to say again? The rumble made me forget."

"Baka," mumbled Niou. Yukimura glared at him, and turned to Kirihara.

"You're supposed to tell them your favourite colour, favourite animal, and why you think you're here."

"Okay! My favourite colours are red, blue and yellow!" (The primary colours are actually Kirihara's favourite colours. I didn't make it up.)

"Favourite colour, brat," said Bunta. Yukimura slapped him across the face.

"Go on, Kirihara."

"Ore-sama thought it was Sanada who slapped people," said Atobe.

"Gekokujou," said Wakashi. (I'm still not sure if that's what Wakashi says…)

"You just had to say that, didn't you," said Shishido.

"You didn't say how many favourite colours I could say," said Kirihara, "Besides, all of them are! Anyway, I don't have a particular favourite animal. And…" At that moment, the forgotten acrobats accidentally smashed into poor Kirihara, who was knocked unconscious.

"Kirihara!" yelled the Rikkai regulars.

"Kikumaru-sempai! What did you do?" asked Momo.

"It was an accident! I swear! Oishi! Fuji! Don't let Yukimura hurt me!" wailed Eiji, hiding behind Fuji, Taka, and Oishi. Then he saw Inui and Yanagi making juices in a corner. "On second thought, DON'T LET THEM GET THOSE JUICES NEAR ME!"

"Gakuto you idiot! Rikkai is going to hate us for this!" yelled Atobe. "You will do 50 laps when we get back to Hyoutei."

"Hey Monkey King," called Echizen, "I thought Rikkai already hated you!"

"Stupid, cocky brat," snarled Atobe.

"Yukimura," said Fuji, "are you thinking what I'm thinking?"

"A play?" asked Yukimura.

"Of course." Yukimura's eyes brightened.

"Yay!" Everyone else shivered. They did not like the sound of that.

"Do you have any clue why they're acting this way?" asked McDonald.

"I can only answer for my team," said Tezuka, "You'd have to ask the other buchous for the others." McDonald preferred not to talk to Atobe or Yukimura. Tezuka seemed to be the only sane person in the room. Suddenly, the lights went out.

"What the?"

"Ore-sama demands God to open the lights!"

"Usu."

"GOD HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THIS! IT'S THOSE DAMN SADISTS AGAIN!"

"Where did my candy go?"

"I'll get it for you Bunta!"

"OPEN THE LIGHTS!"

"Saa, we may open them we may not…"

"Someone give Taka-sempai a tennis racquet!"

"Why?"

"Burning mode."

"Oh, and it will cause mass havoc. Good idea. Anyone got a racquet?"

"No way, I'll get smashed."

"Gakuto, we can do acrobatics. We can dodge him."

"Good point. Except one thing. IT'S FREAKING DARK!"

"Um excuse me, I've got a flashlight."

"WHAT?! OTORI! WHY DO YOU HAVE A FLASH LIGHT?!"

"There's no need to shout Shishido-kun. I don't know why I have a flashlight."

"Numbskull! Turn it on!"

"Oka… Whoops… I dropped it."

"WHAT?!"

"Mada mada dane."

"Everyone search for it!"

"Ugh! I'm wet!"

"Momo! You made me drop my new juice!"

"Sorry Inui-sem… Wait, what did you say?"

"You made me drop my new juice."

"… OH SHIT!"

"Wah! I can smell it from here!"

"Kirihara's awake?"

"Momo! Stand still!"

"It burns! It burns!"

"All done! Open the lights Yukimura!" The lights clicked open.

"What the frick?" said Echizen.

"What have you done to the room?" asked an awestruck McDonald. The tennis players were getting weirder and weirder.

"We've made it a court room!" said Yukimura.

"Pretty impressive, huh," said Fuji.

"Which one of us is going to be the judge?"

"Well, I think either of us won't cut for the job…" The sadists both looked at Atobe.

"W-Why are you looking at Ore-sama like that?" The sadists approached him. Atobe began to run away, but all the Seigaku regulars (yes, including Tezuka) and all the Rikkai regulars (yes, including Sanada) pinned him. The Hyoutei regulars were laughing like nutcases (besides Kabaji and, of course, Atobe).

"GET OFF ORE-SAMA!" screamed Atobe.

"This is too sweet an opportunity to miss!" said Echizen.

"Get off Momo! I'm pinning down his arm!" said Kaidoh.

"Get screwed, Mamushi!" said Momo.

"Whee!" said Bunta cheerfully.

"Bwahaha! You look so stupid Atobe!" said Shishido.

"His pride must be hurting very badly," said Otori.

"Don't tell me you pity him! Ow! Get your bloated ass out of my face Bunta! Or I'll get a pin and burst it!" said Niou.

"Where is a camera when you need it?" said Gakuto.

"In my pocket," said Fuji.

"Thanks!"

"May I take the pictures, Gakuto?" asked Yuushi.

"Sure!" He cheerfully handed the camera over.

"Gekokujou," said Wakashi.

"This is so much fun!" said Kirihara.

"Atobe! If you hurt Bunta you are so dead!" yelled Jirou.

"Maybe fans aren't so bad," mumbled Bunta.

_Later…_

"The plaintiff," said Fuji, "Kirihara Akaya, accuses the defendants, Kikumaru Eiji and Mukahi Gakuto…"

"Wait, why is Kikumaru first?" asked Gakuto.

"I have two reasons," said Fuji, "First, he beat you in the tennis match. Second, 'K' and 'E' are before 'M' and 'G'. Anyhoo… for smashing into him without provoking them. Blah, blah, blah. La, la, la. Etcetera, etcetera, etcetera. How do the defendants plead?"

"Guilty," said Eiji boredly. He knew how it was going to end up anyway.

"Not guilty," said Gakuto with spirit. Eiji stared at him.

"What the hell are you doing?!"

"Makes things interesting."

"Fair enough."

"Okay," said Fuji, "I don't know how these court cases work, so let's just go to the jury. How do you find the defendants?" What did you expect happen next? Of course they all said guilty! Well, Kaidoh said 'Fshhh', Kabaji said 'Usu', and Wakashi said 'Gekokujou', but we will assume they said 'guilty'.

"Because I still don't know how these court things go, and we believe the defendants guilty, we'll just ask the judge for what the punishment will be. Judge?"

"Ore-sama does not like this dress."

"JUST ANSWER THE QUESTION!"

"And it's a robe, not a dress."

"Okay. Um… The defendants' punishment is…" Around that time, Inui and Yanagi were slushing their juices around. (Truth be told, I don't know if Yanagi makes juices. Slushing isn't a word, okay kiddies?) "They have to drink a cup of Inui's or Yanagi's juice."

"ANYTHING BUT THAT!" screeched Eiji.

"What's wrong with their juices?" McDonald asked Niou and Taka. They looked at him in shock

"Drinking it intentionally is suicide, unless you're Yukimura," said Niou.

"Or Fuji," added Taka.

"Yukimura and Fuji… That's those two, right?" said McDonald, pointing at the sadists. They nodded. Then they heard a screech. Gakuto was running, screaming 'It burns! I'm going to die!' Then he stopped, collapsing on Yuushi's lap. It would have been dramatic, but Yuushi just glanced at him as though it happened every day. Eiji had literally jumped out the window to avoid drinking the juice. Luckily, there was a tree right outside the window, and he grasping on to the tree for dear life.

"Eiji! Hang on!" yelled Oishi.

"Kikumaru-sempai has lost it," said Echizen. Everyone decided to ignore Eiji.

"Hey!" said Kirihara, "I never answered the last question!"

"Trust me brat, you don't need to. I think McDonald-san's seen enough," said Niou.

_After all the disastrous introductions…_

"Now that that's done," said McDonald, "We'll be playing some trust games." Immediately, the doubles pairings grabbed for each other. The singles players either stood alone, or attempted in dismal failure to find a partner. McDonald sighed. "_This is so hard. The doubles players trust each other too much, and the singles players have no trust at all. I'm going to have to mix them._" I don't think McDonald realized that mixing them results in murder.

**Author's note: **It took me three days to finish this chapter damnit! Cut me some slack!


	4. Trust game 1: Falling

Author's note: Crud, school starts in two days for me

**Author's note:** Crud, school has come to haunt me again. (Insert series of swear words here) I'll start the next chapter… PP: FujiBun, Uke

"Aww… I wanted to pick my partner!" said Eiji.

"I agree with Kikumaru!" said Gakuto.

"I'm sorry, but you guys couldn't pick your partners yourselves," said McDonald. Eiji and Gakuto glared at the singles players.

"IT'S YOUR FAULT!" screamed Eiji and Gakuto at the singles players.

So these were the pairings (not love pairings!): Echizen and Gakuto, Jirou and Bunta, Fuji and Kirihara, Momo and Eiji, Shishido and Wakashi, Kaidoh and Oishi, Yukimura and Niou, Atobe and Yagyuu, Jackal and Yuushi, Tezuka and Taka, Sanada and Yanagi, and Inui and Otori. (If you are a super PoT fan, you would have noticed that the pairings are close in height.)

"Why am paired with this shorty?!" yelled Gakuto.

"Unless you haven't noticed, you are the shortest third year," said Echizen, "In fact; you're shorter than the second years too."

"SHUT UP!" screamed Gakuto. He took out a notebook. "Now you are number two in my murder list."

"… Oh my God. I'm paired with a retard."

"Now you know how I feel," muttered Yuushi.

"Yay! I'm with Marui Bunta!" cheered Jirou.

"Aren't you worried that you might die?" whispered Jackal to Bunta.

"Not really," Bunta replied, "The thing I'm worried about is the fact that he'll go hype and drop me the moment I have to trust him. Or he might have a heart attack if he touches me."

"He probably will drop you," said Niou, "You're so damn heavy." Bunta kicked him.

"WHY THE HELL AM I PAIRED WITH FUJI?!" screeched Kirihara.

"Saa," said Fuji. Kirihara glared at him.

"I KNOW THE DEVIL HAD SOMETHING TO DO WITH THIS!" He started jumping up and down. "BAD DEVIL! BAD DEVIL!"

"Kirihara," said Niou, "Aren't you the devil?" Kirihara stopped jumping.

"Good point. So… GOD HAD SOMETHING TO DO WITH THIS!" He stood on a chair and started banging the ceiling. "BAD GOD! BAD GOD!" And so yeah, Kirihara went on like that for a while. Then Bunta edged closer to Kirihara.

"Can I swap partners with you?" Kirihara stared at his sempai.

"OH MY GOD! MARUI-SEMPAI LIKES FUJI SYUUSUKE!" screeched Kirihara. Bunta turned strawberry red again.

"N-No I don't!" he stammered

"Yeah you do! You like him! YOU LOVE HIM!"

"… Just forget I asked…" Bunta sat on a chair and hid his face. "_This cannot be happening! Kirihara is so screwed,_" he thought. He could just feel everyone staring at him. Someone sat next to him.

"…You like me?" Bunta sat up. But it wasn't Fuji. S he saw. It was Niou. Great way to piss Bunta off. Imitate Fuji.S.

"WAHH! WHAT THE HELL?! NIOU! YOU ARE DEAD!" If only Bunta knew that Fuji had gone to the bathroom while Kirihara was punishing the devil, a.k.a. himself. Who cares what happens next? Bunta just chases Niou around for a while.

"Yay! I'm with Momo!" said Eiji, grabbing Momo in the death hug.

"Kikumaru-sempai… can't breathe…" gasped Momo.

"I'm so happy I'm not paired with Gakuto or Kikumaru, but I'm paired with Gekokujyou boy," muttered Shishido.

"Huh?" said Wakashi, "What's wrong with having me as a partner?"

"OH MY GOD! YOU DIDN'T SAY 'GEKOKUJYOU'!"

"… Gekokujyou." Shishido just lost it. He began strangling Wakashi.

"SAY SOMETHING BESIDES 'GEKOKUJYOU'!"

"Gekokujyou. Gekokujyou. Gekokujyou. Gekokujyou. Gekokujyou. Gekokujyou."

"Shishido-kun! Stop!" yelled Otori.

"What the…?" said Kaidoh, who was staring at his rival getting choked by Eiji and Oishi trying to save Momo.

"What's wrong Sanada? You don't look happy," said Yukimura.

"I don't think it's anything to worry about, buchou," said Kirihara, "That's how fukubuchou always looks." Sanada felt like hitting Kirihara, but Yukimura was watching.

"Oh my God, hasn't _anyone_ realized anything?" said Yanagi exasperatedly.

"What haven't we realized?" just about everyone asked. Except Inui and Yanagi.

"Kabaji doesn't have a partner. In fact, Kabaji isn't here at all," said Inui.

"Isn't that a good thing?" asked Echizen boredly. He had about enough of Gakuto's ranting.

"LISTEN TO ME BRAT!" screeched Gakuto. Echizen grabbed Fuji's water gun and sprayed Gakuto.

"Mada mada dane."

_Later…_

"So, we have to fall onto our partners?" said Bunta. McDonald nodded. Bunta didn't look to comfortable about that. Jirou saw the look on his face

"Don't worry Bunta! I'll catch you!" said Jirou.

"Worried that you're too fat, Bunta?" asked Niou. Bunta swiped at him. "On your monthlies?" Jirou pounced on him.

"STOP MAKING FUN OF BUNTA-KUN!" he screeched.

"CALL HIM OFF, DAMNIT! CALL HIM OFF!" yelled Niou.

"Jirou, sad to say this, but I need him for Rikkai's tennis team," said Bunta. Jirou immediately jumped off. Of course, a little bodyguard wouldn't stop Niou from being The Trickster.

"I don't trust you," said Gakuto, "I want Yuushi."

"That's why they're called 'trust' games, idiot," said Echizen.

"Have respect to older people!" snapped Gakuto.

"Echizen has never had respect for older people," said Momo.

"How can I trust you? You're a sadist!" said Kirihara.

"So is Yukimura. Anyway, just because I'm a sadist doesn't mean I'm sadistic all the time. I can be nice," said Fuji.

"Kikumaru-sempai, can I trust you not to choke me?" asked Momo.

"That was an accident!" said Eiji.

"I suppose I can trust you," said Shishido.

"Geko…" began Wakashi. Shishido had taken Fuji's water gun and sprayed it in his mouth.

"Just shut up." Wakashi didn't move. "Huh? Hiyoshi? Are you okay?"

"Terrible taste…" Shishido sprayed some 'water' into his hand. It was an unusual shade of blue.

"What is this?!" Everyone crowded around Shishido. McDonald was turning a nasty shade of green. Most of the Seigaku regulars paled.

"Fuji, that isn't what I think it is, is it?" asked Eiji.

"If you're thinking Aozu, you're right," said Fuji, "You must have taken the Inui juice gun by mistake. Whoops. That's the water gun." Fuji pointed at Echizen. Shishido shook his wet hand and dropped the gun.

"Frick," he said, "I just touched poison. And murdered Hiyoshi. But that's not important. What's important is that I touched freaking poison." They decided to ignore Wakashi. He's going to wake up sometime later anyway.

"Niou, please don't drop me or play a prank on me when I trust you," said Yukimura.

"Don't worry, I won't," said Niou.

"You better not," mumbled Kirihara. Niou snickered.

"Ore-sama shall sue if you drop Ore-sama," said Atobe. Niou nearly burst into laughter.

"You're underestimating Yagyuu," said Niou, "He's not called The _Gentleman_ for nothing." Yagyuu slightly smirked. His friend was over exaggerating. After all, it wasn't gentlemanlike to play a trick, like he did often in tennis. Enough ranting about how great Yagyuu is…  
"Okay then," said McDonald, "Let's start."

_Echizen and Gakuto…_

"I DON'T WANT TO FALL ON YOU!" yelled Gakuto. Echizen rolled his eyes.

"I don't either, because you're on your monthlies," said Echizen.

"FUCK THIS EXERCISE! I'M SITTING DOWN!" screamed Gakuto. He went to sit down, missed the chair, and fell on Echizen.

"Mada mada dane," said Echizen, pushing the older, more insane, boy out of his lap. McDonald walked over to them.

"Good job you two!" he said, "Keep up the good work!" Echizen rolled his eyes and Gakuto's jaw dropped. When McDonald walked away, Gakuto was able to speak again.

"Fuck. This," he said, sitting down again, and landing on Echizen, _again_. Echizen glared at him.

"Do I _look_ like a chair to you?!" he snapped. Gakuto nodded. "Do chairs wear caps with 'R's' on them?" Gakuto nodded. "Do they play tennis?" Gakuto nodded. "Are they annoyed by a certain someone called Mukahi Gakuto?" Gakuto nodded. "Are they the greatest in tennis?" Gakuto nodded. Echizen smirked. Gakuto looked bewildered.

"Wait, what did I do?!"

_Jirou and Bunta…_

"Can you fall on me Bunta? I can catch you! Fall! Fall!" said Jirou. Bunta stared at him wide eyed. "_He's more hyper than Kirihara on my candy. Is he high?_" thought Bunta.

"Er… I think it might be a better idea if I catch you…" said Bunta. Seriously, If he trusted Jirou then, he'd be in the hospital for as long as Yukimura was. Jirou started jumping. Bunta regretted saying that.

"OH MY GOD! I'M GOING TO FALL ON MARUI BUNTA! MARUI BUNTA! HE'S GOING TO CATCH ME! THIS IS A DREAM COME TRUE!" screeched Jirou. He fainted around then, and Bunta caught him. McDonald came to them.

"Good job!" he said, "Keep up the good work!" Bunta stared at him.

"He's freaking fainted!" snapped Bunta. McDonald had already left. "Hey! You aren't going to leave me with him, are you?!" No reply. "…DAMNIT!" Bunta couldn't believe his misfortune. Of course, things could've been worse. Being a Rikkai regular, he _has_ seen worse. "_I wonder if Fuji's doing better…_" thought Bunta.

_Fuji and Kirihara…_

"I AM NOT GOING TO FALL ON YOU!" screamed Kirihara. Fuji opened his eyes.

"Do you have a choice?" Kirihara looked at the first teams mentioned. Gauto and Echizen seemed to fall on each other. Sort of. Bunta was staring at Fuji (namely Fuji's butt) and carrying Jirou. "_Everyone else is doing it…_" thought Kirihara. He looked at Fuji, and winced. "_Oh, that's why I think he looks different when he opens his eyes. I have to agree with Marui-sempai on one thing. Fuji does look hotter when he opens his eyes. But he's no where near Yukimura-buchou!_"

"Fine," he said. Fuji closed his eyes again. Kirihara turned around and fell. "_Hey! He caught me!_" Kirihara heard a thump. Fuji pushed him up.

"Hey! Bunta actually fainted!" said Niou. Kirihara turned towards Bunta's direction. His sempai was squashed under Jirou, in a very awkward postion.

Kirihara looked at his partner. "_Oh my God. Does Fuji Syuusuke look worried?_" Yep, our beloved sadist was worried for the wannabe tensai. Seriously. Thank the clouds on Sanada's underpants that Kirihara was the only one who noticed. And yes, Sanada was wearing underpants with pink clouds on them. And frills. Would it be over the top to say that Tezuka and Atobe were wearing the same underpants? But enough on how freakishly girly everyone is, this is about Fujiko and Bunta.

"Is he okay?" mumbled Fuji, REAL caring in his voice. Now Kirihara was convinced that Fuji liked Bigbutt. (I'm giving them nicknames because I'm BORED. I have nothing against Bunta. Whatsoever.)

"You like Marui-sempai?" Fuji's eyes opened.

"Do not tell anyone," he said, menace clear in his voice. Kirihara was silent for thirty seconds. What a record! Get a kid a cookie! Or a brain! Or maybe an anti-Niou shield!

"I KNEW IT!" screeched Kirihara, pointing at Fuji. Everyone stared at them. With the flick of a hand, Kirihara was out cold. Fuji was freakishly calm.

"Man is he scary," mumbled Shishido. Otori nodded.

"Gekokujyou," said, surprise surprise, Wakashi from behind the Silver pair, making them jump.

"HOLY KOZU NO OUJISAMA!" yelled Shishido, "Damn it, Hiyoshi! Warn us before you do that! Kozu, my heart…"

"… Sorry." Everyone stared at him. Everyone didn't hear the first time he spoke properly, remember? "What?"

"Nya, you can speak!" said Eiji cheerfully. Wakashi looked annoyed.

"Gekokujyou."

"Okay, people," said McDonald, "back to work!"

_Later…_

"Okay, I think that went well," said McDonald. Everyone glared at him. There were some cuts and bruises, and Bunta was rocking himself in a corner. "Let's move on to the next game!"

"Mada mada dane," mumbled Echizen.

**Author's note**: Gosh golly goo, am I sleepy. Sorry that this isn't as good quality as the other chapters. Man, I feel so bad for letting everyone down… CRUEL WORLD!


	5. Trust Game 2: Minefield

**Author's note: **Hmm… I'm back… Yay? Whatever… I did have this planned out, but I became addicted to something else… Sorry to keep everyone waiting! (And please keep voting in the poll!)

"Minefield? What's that?" asked Eiji, hands on Echizen's head. Echizen pushed him back in frustration.

"WHAT IS WITH YOU ACROBATS?! I AM NOT A CHAIR!" Gakuto and Eiji looked closer at Echizen.

"Are you sure?" said Gakuto. Echizen punched them in their faces.

"O'Chibi's evil," said Eiji, eyes anime spirals. Everyone ignored them.

"Following on with Kikumaru's question, what's minefield?" asked Yagyuu.

_After the explanation… Because explanations are BORING…_

"Nuuuu!!!!" screamed Kirihara. "I don't want to be paired up with people I don't like! God is punishing me!" Kirihara leapt into Yukimura's arms, sobbing. Yukimura cradled him in his arms.

"Chicken!" said Gakuto, holding a rubber chicken high in the air. Being short, just about anyone could have taken it from him. Shishido grabbed the chicken and slapped Gakuto on the face with it. Interestingly enough, Gakuto broke through the wall, leaving a hole the shape of him on the wall. Shishido stared at the chicken, and decided to test it again. He hit Yagyuu on the head, and Yagyuu fell through the floor. Niou wasn't looking, of course.

"Cool," said Shishido, pocketing the chicken.

"These are the teams," said McDonald, freaked out about what Shishido did. He was holding up a sheet of paper with the teams of five:

Team one: Echizen, Jirou, Fuji, Momo, Shishido

Team two: Kaidoh, Yukimura, Atobe, Jackal, Tezuka

Team three: Sanada, Inui, Kabaji, Gakuto, Bunta

Team four: Kirihara, Eiji, Wakashi, Oishi, Niou

Team five: Yagyuu, Yuushi, Taka, Yanagi, Otori

"Mamushi, you're with the buchous," said Momo.

"Shut up," said Kaidoh.

"WOAH! All the buchous together? Cool!" said Jirou excitedly. "But I'm not with Bunta," he added in an undertone. Gakuto cowered behind Kabaji.

"What's with him?" asked Bunta. Sanada did a gesture towards Inui, before glaring at Niou, who was tying Kirihara's undies to the wall. Niou caught his eye, and shrugged, beginning to untie Kirihara's undies. Dropping down, Kirihara looked over at the sheet, and pulled his hair in despair.

"WHY AM I NOT WITH YUKIMURA BUCHOU?! I'M WITH NIOU!!!! NUUUU!!!!" screeched Kirihara. Niou poured ice cream over Kirihara's hair, while Bunta tried to eat it.

"Ore-sama declares that they are idiots," announced Atobe. Sanada and Tezuka shared the same thought. _"If they're idiots, what are you?"_ But having reputations, they couldn't say it out loud. You know, because they think they're cool. Yeah, right.

"YAY! I'm with Oishi! YAY!" Eiji yelled. Jumping around too much, he smashed into Niou and Bunta, and Kirihara finally noticed the ice cream.

"MURA-BUCHOU!" wailed Kirihara. Fuji sprayed Kirihara's hair with his water gun, while Yukimura removed the wet ice cream. Fuji was quietly snickering.

"YOU RUINED THE PRANK! JERK!" screamed Niou, grabbing Wakashi, and chasing Eiji around the room. Note the superhuman strength.

"SORRY! OWW! THAT HURTED!" screeched Eiji.

"GEKOKUJYOU!" yelled Wakashi, trying to release himself of Niou's grip.

"THE ICE CREAM! SAVE THE ICE CREAM!" roared Bunta, pulling his hair in frustration. Jirou was lying down on the floor to make sure he caught any of the hair that Bunta ripped off. Jackal, not noticing Jirou, went over to stop Bunta from pulling all his hair off, and stepping on Jirou.

"Mada mada dane," said Echizen, looking at Jirou, who was miraculously asleep under Jackal.

"What an unusual position," said Fuji, looking at Jirou. He's a sadist and a pervert…

"When are we going to START this game?!" yelled Shishido, annoyed by the scene.

"Niou, you are to do 100 laps when we get back to Rikkai," said Yukimura, glaring at Niou. Niou stopped running, and put Wakashi down. Wakashi scuttled under a chair.

"Whatever." Niou looked around for something to attack Eiji with, when Fuji tossed the Azou gun to him.

"YOU'RE EBIL FUJIKO!!!!" shouted Eiji, hanging from the ceiling. Niou started spraying Eiji, forcing him to run around. Gakuto smashed through the door.

"KILL KIKUMARU! Hey, alliteration!" said Gakuto, grabbing Sanada's sword and chasing Eiji.

"Why did you bring your sword, Genichiro?" asked Yanagi. Sanada raised his eyebrows in slight shock.

"I… didn't…" replied Sanada. Yanagi stared at him.

"I did," said Yukimura, humming while taking the ice cream out. McDonald edged towards Yanagi and Sanada.

"Is your buchou… sane?" he asked.

"He is, he's just…" said Sanada, faltering.

"Eccentric," continued Yanagi. "Especially after school."

"Ore-sama demands you to stop this so we can start!" yelled Atobe.

"You have dirt on your pants," said Tezuka. Atobe turned around.

"What?! Ore-sama cannot present himself like this! Ore-sama must be CLEAN!" Atobe ran out of the room, bumping into Yagyuu at the same time. Niou wasn't looking of course.

_When they actually STARTED playing… Group one…_

"Move forward!" yelled Jirou.

"He's going to hit the can, Jirou," said Fuji.

"Where do I go?" asked Echizen, blindfolded. He moved forward, nearly stepping on the rope.

"STOP!" yelled Shishido.

"Don't yell, baka!" snapped Momo. Shishido glared at him.

"Are you picking a fight?"

"Maybe I am!" Shishido and Momo leapt at each other. Fuji and Jirou ignored them.

"Lean over, and get the ball," said Fuji.

"Gah! Don't touch the rope! Hey… Shishido! Momoshiro! Get out!" yelled Jirou.

"Do you think I can actually SEE the rope?!" snapped Echizen, tripping over Shishido and Momo, who were getting zapped by the electric shocks the ropes were sending.

"Oh no," said Jirou, watching the three getting zapped.

"Oh dear," said Fuji frowning. Or smiling. Whatever you want to think.

"IT BURNS!" the trio said, writhing in pain. Fuji chuckled, and Jirou whimpered.

_Group two… _

"Ore-sama commands you to go forward!" yelled Atobe.

"Er… Atobe, that's wouldn't be a good idea for Kaidoh-san," said Yukimura. Kaidoh stopped in his tracks.

"I agree with buchou," said Jackal. When all the buchous stared at him, he turned red. "Well, it was the only way to be safe."

"Ore-sama is perfect! Ore-sama says to move forward!" yelled Atobe.

"Hm... This is getting boring..." said Yukimura.

"Why you...! Ore-sama will not tolerate insults! Ore-sama is not boring!"

"Please stop saying 'Ore-sama', it's wearing my patience." Atobe gasped, and threw a punch at Yukimura, who dodged.

"TAKE THAT BACK!"

"No thank you."

"Kaidoh, move backwards," directed Tezuka, while the other two buchous fought. How neutral. Suddenly, a firework went off. Atobe and Kaidoh screamed, Yukimura was laughing quietly, and Tezuka was… Tezuka…

"I love fireworks," said Yukimura evilly.

"Turn it off!" screamed Atobe. The firework left their room…

"Fshh…" said Kaidoh. Way to ruin the moment.

_Group three…_

Sanada stood perfectly still, blindfolded, while his team mates fought.

"My data says that he has to go right," said Inui.

"Usu," said Kabaji.

"Why can't he go forward? He can just go over the electric rope!" said Gakuto. Sanada mentally faceplamed. He really didn't want to know the electric rope was anywhere near him. He backed away slightly. _"Stupid therapist," _thought Sanada, _"thinking of electric ropes."_ Sanada, though he wouldn't admit it, was afraid of electricity.

"I'm hungry," said Bunta, looking around the room for food.

"Go over the electric rope!" yelled Gakuto.

"Oh shut up," mumbled Inui.

"I SMELL WAFFLE COOKIES!" roared Bunta. Sanada twitched. _"Dear God, why did Yukimura tell __**me **__to bring extra food for Marui?"_ Bunta leaped into the rope field and knocked Sanada over. His blindfold came off, and he noticed an elecrtric rope just over his head. And his hat was fried to ash.

"SHIT!" screamed Sanada, totally losing his 'coolness'. Kya-pu, yeah right.

"COOKIE!!!" bellowed Bunta. Then a firework entered their room, and carried a screaming Bunta out the door.

"Cool! My turn next!" called Gakuto, running after Bunta. There was silence for a while.

"Do we follow them?" asked Inui.

"Usu," said Kabaji. Sanada was twitching like mad.

_Group four…_

"You hear something?" asked Niou, who was extremely bored.

"Gekokujyou," said Wakashi, shrugging. Niou glared at him.

"Okay, now I get why that Shishido dude hates you. But you don't match Kirihara."

"I heard that!" yelled Kirihara, blindfolded. "Teddy bears will rule the world and we will all be blond with stupid green hats!"

"…Say what?"

"Nya, go forback!" said Eiji.

"Go WHAT?!" yelled Kirihara

"Forward flip, then land stepping back!"

"JUST BECAUSE I AM PART OF THE HYPER TRIO DOES NOT MEAN I CAN DO ACROBATICS!!!"

"Eiji, don't make him angry!" said Oishi.

"You suck!" yelled Eiji.

"So does your face!" screamed Kirihara.

"Yo mama's so stupid that she tried to eat your hair!"

"… I don't get it…"

"Your hair looks like seaweed. NOW YOU JUST RUINED THE JOKE! EBIL!"

"Yo mama's so fat that when she did a back flip, the whole of Antarctica split in half!"

"Why you… have respect for older people!"

"Okay, _grandma_."

"Please stop this!" said Oishi.

"Heh, just sit back and relax!" said Niou, sipping lemonade. Wakashi looked very pissed.

"Would you two just SHUT UP!" he yelled. Everyone stared at him. "Yo mama's are so ugly that your dads _refused _to kiss them in their _weddings_!!" Everyone was speechless. "Gekokujyou."

_Group five…_

Well, group five were all finished, because they were actually SANE. That, or I'm just not fussed to write about them. Yanagi, being the genius he was, hacked into the security cameras so they could watch the others. McDonald was also with them, but he was worried about doing something illegal.

"Did Hiyoshi just speak?" asked Ootori.

"He said a 'Yo mama' joke…" said Yuushi, slightly unnerved. Yagyuu smiled.

"For once Niou is speechless," he said.

"And Kirihara," said Yanagi.

"Are we even supposed to do this?" asked McDonald. They just shrugged.

_Sometime later…_

A group of police officers came, with groups 1-4 with them.

"Are these kids your clients?" asked one cop. McDonald nodded.

"You are now fined with a lot of money," said another.

"CAN I HOLD YOUR GUN?!" asked the hyper trio.

"No, you cannot. Please pay us money," said the cop. Atobe threw an eighth of his money to the cops. Their eyes grew big, they all drew their guns, and shot themselves.

"Probably thought they were dreaming," said Fuji, examining one of the cops' guns.

"Do not take it, Fuji," said Tezuka.

"Aw…" Now McDonald was really freaked out.

"What are we doing now?" asked Echizen, sounding really bored.

**Author's note: **Sorry… I was rushing… I swear this might come to a close by the next chapter because I'm losing my touch…


	6. Trust Game 3: Wall Crash

**Author's note: **I'm BACK!!! … Well, you could at least be a bit more excited. Enjoy, kya-pu! PP: Platinum, FujiBun, TezAto

"What is with these games that no one knows?!" said Echizen, very pissed off. Everyone shrugged.

"Who cares? This whole therapy thing was stupid anyway," said Kirihara, bored.

"It is 100% certain that this is the last game for this lesson, and it's the last lesson we'll ever have," said Inui and Yanagi. McDonald was still shocked with the policemen, and was starting to lose his mind.

"Nya, it looks like McDonald-san is gunna blow!" said Eiji cheerfully.

"Saa, he might be a robot, and his circuits are exploding into flames," said Fuji amusedly.

"Ore-sama wants to finish this lesson, NOW," said Atobe.

"Usu," said Kabaji.

"Gekokujyou," said Wakashi. Shishido twitched, and then set Wakashi's ass on fire using Elfire.

"Dude, this isn't Fire Emblem. How is that possible in this world?" said Momo in awe.

"You play Fire Emblem?! Yay! Me and Shishido aren't the only ones who play! So KISS MY ASS JIROU! Jirou?" said Gakuto, looking for Jirou. He screamed like a girl when he saw Jirou. Jirou was sleeping on Bunta's lap, with a huge smile on his face. Bunta glared at Gakuto.

"Oh shut up," he snarled.

"Getting close to your fangirls, Bunta?" said Niou.

"Shut. Up."

"Next thing that'll happen is you'll marry all your fangirls, then you'll have babies, then…"

"SHUT UP YOU JACKASS!" Niou bowed.

"Whatever you say, your royal roundliness." Bunta stood up, causing Jirou to fall on the floor.

"Uh… Sorry Jirou… NIOU! I SWEAR I'LL SEND YOU TO HELL!"

"That's not bad. The devil's scared of me anyway." Niou pointed at Kirihara.

"Cool! I'm the devil!" said Kirihara, suddenly skipping around the room in cheerfulness. Yukimura sighed.

"Kids grow so fast," he said. Eiji grabbed a chainsaw.

"Kill the devil!" he said, maniacally running after Kirihara. Gakuto picked up Sanada's sword, and copied Eiji.

"Tasukete!" wailed Kirihara. Everyone watched them, until they got bored, and turned away.

"Not all kids," mumbled Yuushi and Oishi. McDonald was twitching like mad.

"This is how you play 'Wall Crash'," he said, terrified out of his wits.

_After the explanation…_

"Okay, so we run to a wall, and the people in near the wall have to catch us before we touch the wall?" asked Jackal.

"Blindfolded too," added Momo. McDonald nodded, and held up a piece of paper, showing the teams.

Team one: Echizen, Yukimura, Kabaji, Oishi, Ootori

Team two: Jirou, Atobe, Gakuto, Niou, Yagyuu

Team three: Fuji, Jackal, Bunta, Kirihara, Yuushi

Team four: Momo, Tezuka, Sanada, Eiji, Taka

Team five: Shishido, Kaidoh, Inui, Wakashi, Yanagi

"Hey! Why is Echizen the first name in every list?!" screamed Gakuto.

"You know, he's got a point," said Shishido.

"Everyone worships me, even Monkey King," said Echizen sarcastically.

"Ore-sama repents that statement!" yelled Atobe. Fuji and Yukimura burst into fits of laughter.

"Gekokujyou," said Wakashi. Shishido choked him with a liquorice stick, the grossest candy in the world.

"Shishido-sempai! Please stop!" said Ootori anxiously.

"That didn't make a shred of sense, Atobe," said Yuushi dully.

"It does because ore-sama said so!"

"… So now you own the Japanese language?"

"Yes!"

"… I wonder why we were stuck with him sometimes…"

"BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!" screamed Taka, chasing after Atobe with the rubber chicken Shishido had previously found.

"Ore-sama demands you to stop! STOP! STOP!!!" screamed Atobe, running away frantically. Taka finally caught up, and smacked him, sending him flying out of the window. Everyone rushed to the window.

"That isn't logically possible," murmured Yanagi.

"Nothing's logically possible in this world anymore," said Jackal sadly. Yagyuu nodded in agreement.

"Wowie! Look at him go!!" yelled Gakuto. "HEY ATOBE!!! IF YOU END UP IN AUSTRALIA, BRING BACK A KANGAPOO!!!"

"… What's a kangapoo?" asked Bunta.

"Those hoppy thingys in Australia."

"………"

"Gakuto, why would you want one of those?" asked Yuushi.

"I want to see if it can jump higher than me!" said Gakuto cheerfully. "… Should I have told Atobe to get a koala too?"

"Why?"

"I want to see if would sleep longer than Jirou!"

"… It wouldn't."

"Who knows?"

"C-could we please start?" asked McDonald. He was literally shaking.

"… Why are you shaking?" asked Echizen bluntly.

"…"

"Fine, let's start." Atobe burst through the door.

"Ore-sama is suing all of you," he growled. Then the chicken whacked his face, sending him flying again.

"Nice hit, Niou," said Yagyuu.

"I've been practicing," said Niou, smirking. Shishido grabbed the chicken.

"That's _mine_," he growled. Niou grabbed the back of Shishido's head, and smashed him against the wall.

"Let's start the game before things get nasty then."

"What's your problem?!"

"I didn't like the way you spoke to me." Yukimura glared at them.

"Play nice you two," he said, with an eerie smile. They stopped fighting.

"Ahh, I wish I had that kind of powers with sadism," said Fuji.

"I wish I had more power with sadism," said Yukimura, smiling warmly. The sadists laughed. McDonald fainted, and Jirou woke up.

"What happened?" he asked, yawning.

_Team one_…

"I wonder when they'll allow us to start?" said Echizen, bored out of his brain.

"When they stop exchanging pleasantries, I suppose," said Yukimura amusedly. They had taken their blindfolds off, and were watching Oishi and Ootori talking for forever and a day.

"You're a buchou, why can't you tell them to stop talking, and start playing this stupid game?"

"I'm Rikkai's buchou, so technically I can't force them to start." Yukimura was twirling Fuji's Inui juice gun in his hands.

"You're a _sadist_."

"I'm already on it." Echizen raised his eyebrow. Yukimura giggled. "You know you want to do it." Echizen watched the twirling gun.

"Damn it." Echizen grabbed the gun, and walked towards Oishi and Ootori. They realised what Echizen was carrying, and started running for their lives. They ran for the wall, and Kabaji, thinking that the game had started, flung his arms out. Unfortunately, his arms had hit Oishi and Ootori, who were rendered unconscious.

"That's an interesting way to play the game…" said Yukimura, before bursting into laughter.

"Game over," said Echizen, drinking Ponta that he took out of his cap.

"Usu," said Kabaji.

_Team two…_

"Monkey King, want to make a bet?" asked Niou, a cunning smile on his face.

"Ore-sama is listening," said Atobe.

"I bet Yagyuu's the only one who's going to make it to this side." Atobe looked at the three at the other side.

"Jirou isn't as sleepy as you think. And Gakuto will probably make it."

"Don't count on it." Atobe didn't have much confidence in his team mates, but he was competitive.

"… If I win, you have to go naked for a week."

"Deal. But if I win, half of your savings."

"We're ready!" yelled Gakuto.

"Hurry up already!" snapped Atobe. "Get running!" Yagyuu and Gakuto were already running to them. Jirou was busy eating pocky. Atobe facepalmed. Then Gakuto did a replay of the spiral track, and fell. (Refer to the spiral race in the PoT special show 'Atobe's Gift', the best special in the world.)

"Loser." Atobe glared at Niou, who was holding/hugging/raping Yagyuu. Yagyuu removed his blindfold.

"Please, Niou…" said Yagyuu quietly.

"Ahh, just enjoying the moment, Hiroshi. I get half of that idiot's money," said Niou, smirking. Yagyuu sighed. "Bet you can't do this with Tezuka, right Atobe?"

"… HOW DARE YOU INSULT ORE-SAMA!!!" screamed Atobe.

"Heh, Atobe's throwing a hissy fit!" said Gakuto, finally arriving at the other side. Atobe glared at him.

"AND YOU! YOU MADE ME LOSE MY BET! YOU IMCOMPITENT LITTLE…" Gakuto started to cry.

"YUUSHI!" he wailed, running out of the room.

"Masaharu… Why?" asked Yagyuu.

"Relax, I can finally afford that golf club you wanted," said Niou.

"… Okay then."

_Team three…_

"You going to tell him?" asked Kirihara.

"No," said Bunta.

"Ask him."

"No."

"Ask him, you know you want to!"

"PISS OFF, BRAT!" Yuushi was listening to them, not having a clue what they were talking about.

"Fine! I'll tell him myself!" Kirihara began walking off, and Bunta grabbed Yuushi by accident.

"… Wrong person, Marui," said Yuushi crossly.

"Uwah! Sorry! Where are you, brat?" screamed Marui, forgetting to let go of Yuushi. Kirihara had forgotten where the walls were, so he kept smashing into them. On the other side, Fuji was giggling and Jackal moaned.

"Ah, Marui-san is so cute," whispered Fuji.

"You guys ready yet?" yelled Jackal.

"NO! MUST. FIND. BRATLING!" screamed Bunta, still dragging Yuushi. Gakuto burst into the room, with his blindfold still on. God knows how he actually made it there.

"WAH! YUUSHI!" he hollered. He smashed into Kirihara.

"I'm not Oshitari, you idiot!"

"WAHH! I WANT YUUSHI!" Gakuto hugged Kirihara

"I'M NOT OSHITARI YOU RETARD!" Fuji giggled.

"Oh, this is such a fun game!" he said. Jackal twitched.

"You're as bad as Yukimura-buchou."

"Thank you!"

"…"

_Team four…_

"Nya! We're coming!" said Eiji, smashing into the wall totally opposite.

"BBBBBBBUUUUUURRRRRRRRNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!" screeched Taka, following Eiji into the wall. Momo followed for no particular reason. Sanada stared at them.

"Your team is totally insane. I can't believe we lost to you," he said. Then he heard his fellow team mates screaming:

"Go Echizen!"

"Suck it you rich bitch!"

"Niou, please…"

"DAMNIT BRAT! IF YOU DARE TELL HIM, I'LL RIP YOUR HEAD OFF!"

"But you don't want to tell him, Marui-sempai! I'm doing you a favour! Be grateful!"

"Would you two stop fighting?!"

Tezuka smirked slightly when Sanada turned bright red.

"You were saying, Sanada-san?"

"… Shut up."

_Team five…_

Well… They were actually done, and were staring at the surveillance cameras Yanagi hacked into again.

"For crying out loud! Can't they play normally?!" yelled Shishido. Everyone stared at him. "Oh, screw it. No one thinks properly in out team except Oshitari and Ootori."

"Gekokuyjou?" said Wakashi.

"I. Will. Murder. You."

_After the game…_

"Er… The dude's dead," said Momo, poking McDonald's dead body.

"Seems like he shot himself… I wonder where he kept his gun… Any ideas, Yukimura?" said Fuji.

"I don't know. I'm not that interested in guns. Speaking of guns, don't you have three?" said Yukimura. Everyone stared at Fuji.

"Yeees. What's that got to do with anything?" Everyone frightfully thought about what the last gun was. It makes you wonder why they aren't freaking out about dead person in their room.

"Soo… Does that mean this therapy crap is done?" asked Bunta. An old, bluenette woman walked into the room, with a huge smile on her face. Yukimura, Sanada, and Yanagi looked terrified.

"Oh great, _another_therapist," moaned Echizen.

"Hi, Renji, Genichirou! How are you?" she said. Yanagi fainted, and Sanada backed off.

"What's up with you two?" asked Shishido.

"T-That's…" muttered Sanada fearfully.

"Spit it out!" snapped Niou.

"Seiichi! How are you, darling?" she said hugging Yukimura, who was pale. He hugged her back stiffly. Almost everyone mouthed 'Who's that?'. Yukimura mouthed back, looking close to collapse:

"My fucking grandmother."

**Author's note:** Yes, Yukimura swore. FEEL THE FEAR IN THE MASTER OF SADISIM, YUKIMURA'S OBA-CHAN! BWAHAHAHA!!!! Okay, now that the rantings are done… I NEED EVERYONE'S ATTENTION!

Please send ideas to me, and they might appear in the up and coming chapters. Thank you, kya-pu!


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